either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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