That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
