I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
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