New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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