forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
