We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
