The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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