Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
