he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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