Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
