my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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