I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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