i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
