That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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