Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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