I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
