There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
