I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
