epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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