toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I don't think brook has ever known best
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
