Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
