I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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