clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
