No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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