DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
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