left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
