The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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