your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
