i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
