Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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