k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
