David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
my liver is dry heaving
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
