are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
