After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
