i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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