I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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