Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize