i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I am naked and annoyed.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I'm really busy with my period
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