I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
