you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
