Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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