i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i think i have herpe
just one?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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