where does the pee come out of this thing
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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