SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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