I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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