i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
