I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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