so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
