So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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