1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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