just survived the first fart of the relationship.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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