i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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