Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
