Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
