I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
