You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
