never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
